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Now is the best time ever to be single. Between the end of the recession and the tax cuts that are likely to make the labor force more attractive to women, we now live in a golden age of single life. However, I know that for many, 30 sounds ancient and I’m more than happy to beat that out-of-touch number. Even if you’re not looking to settle down, let’s face it: Dating can be a little intimidating, and it has nothing to do with confidence. Even if you are completely comfortable with yourself and are a good conversationalist, the idea of putting your best self forward and being vulnerable with a stranger who may become the love of your life is, well, daunting. If you’re in the market for a relationship—whether it’s a casual fling or something long-term—consider this your guide to modern dating.

Those who are dating today enjoy the same challenges and joys of their forefathers, only this time the little nuptial wheel has made a giant leap forward and they can do it all online. Digital devices have produced new ways for people to connect with, and search for, other people in their area. You can look up apps for various personality traits, motivations and hobbies. You can even tell if a person has a dry sense of humor, like you, through an instant poll of 300 questions that you answer aloud.

If this all seems a little too time consuming, you’re not alone. It can be a lot of work to find someone who’s right for you. But don’t give up. People will appreciate your effort and put in the extra time. And be sure to put your best foot forward, but don’t be too shy to meet new people. Your phone is your best friend—and even worse in the shower!

No matter how you date, you should make a step plan for your path toward finding the right person. The first thing to do is to know yourself. If you have a broken heart and are trying to move on, you will want to start slow, and seek out friends. Let your friends’ friends know about your dating quest so that it doesn’t seem like you’re in hiding. If you find the right person, you won’t feel the need to do anything in secret. It’s also important to remember to be yourself. When you go out on dates, you want to be comfortable in your own skin. If you’re not http://ukraine-single.com/best-hookup-dating-sites-with-russian-girls-and-ukraine-lovers.html
A few years ago, I went on a first date with a guy I met through a friend of a friend. He had me convinced that he was just great. So I went. Then things started to turn. I told my friend that I was out with this guy and he told me, «Aww, he’s so cute. He’s actually just a nice guy who’s really into relationships.» And I immediately felt obligated to enjoy the entire date with that lie in the back of my head. I spent most of the date feeling like I was lying to myself while at the same time realizing that my friend could just write me off any time she wanted. The date was over, but I couldn’t give him my number. Why? Because I didn’t want to be a jerk, but I also didn’t want to feel like a jerk either. It was too easy to imagine the worst-case scenario and imagine him looking down on me when I made him call me.

Like I said, dating is hard, especially if you’re in your late 30s and want to date a guy your own age. You want to have a good time and not be made to feel crazy or scared for going out and trying something new. At the same time, you’re not ready to get too serious, you still want to give men a chance. And the balance of those two things, trying to be a fun date and still holding back on the crazy possibility of a relationship with someone you met on a date, is the real struggle of dating in your mid-30s.

I recently started dating again, this time trying to date men around 35 and over, since it’s a little tricky for a 30-something woman to date a guy her own age. I want to have fun and let loose, but I don’t want to be put through the wringer and look like a crazy lunatic who’s only interested in long-term relationships and only wants sex. While I am open to the idea of dating someone I meet at the gym, a local bar, or a local coffee shop, I’m not looking for something that lasts longer than a week. (Which is kind of sad, if you think about it, because I love my friends and want to see their lives thrive in a monogamous relationship.)

And here’s the thing: At the same time, I am also enjoying the freedom of not having to put so much thought into the whole dating process, especially since I’m in my late 30


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